Yeah, I stink at it too…

There are only a few things that really stress me out. Probably ranking near the top are things that interfere with my “system” of doing things. That can be people, circumstances, and yes even at times, God Almighty.

But how do I know when my system needs to change? Do I wait for it to break? Do I just walk away from the things that cause confusion in it? I think I should, if I feel it will bring a character failure in my life…but then again why isn’t my system built around preventing them and notating red flags? If life is really less about what I accomplish than about how I live it, then perhaps the only system I should care about is the more facilitating change in me. What system do you have in place for personal change?

I think a few reasons are:

1. People can only change so quickly – I don’t think it is God’s intention to hold us back from change, but I do think there is something about lasting change when it takes place over time. If I would have been given a list of things I needed to do once I became a Christian, I surely do not think I would still be one today. I would have given up. Not due to the lack of desire, but do to the lack of ability to live up to a standard. I think this is a constant battle, at least for me.

2. A reward system – While I don’t think we are righted anything in this life, I do think that we have to lay off every once and a while. I don’t have a whole lot of Jesus quotes for this one, but I think that was built strongly into Jewish culture…I mean who else has 12 crazy Christmas Nights?

3. Like it or not we are human and flawed – We best have a time to release mental stress or we are going to fry our brain. I feel like there are some days that you can see the stream rising from my scalp. On those days, I need the extra trip around the block to unwind and release. And yes, we need to establish planned times during our days to release…even when we don’t think we need it. After all, you don’t know what mental energy tomorrow will require until it gets here.

I guess what I’m trying to say is my life reshaped into something far different than my expectations. Maybe I could have done everything right and known exactly what I wanted to do at and early age. Maybe I would have gotten to this place faster in life. Perhaps, but I highly doubt I would have acquired the level of appreciation for the things I have been given without the journey I’ve taken.

So this year I’m thankful for that. I’m thankful that no matter what I do or don’t ask for, something great is around the corner. After all, the joys of life are never found in the things you expect, but in the unexpected.

What the Idealist side fails to recognize is that people are, by nature, variables. As a species, we are inconsistent. Our dreams change from season to season in life. I’ve wanted to be a counselor, a trombonist, a pastor, president, and at times enjoy the simple life of garbage man. In a few short years in college, I switched my major 4 times. Maybe you are not as fickle as that, but I certainly doubt you went on to be a ballerina or a race car driver. The Idealist gathers attention most often for being controversial, while the Realist focuses on completion. Dreams are basically nothing more than descriptions. Realism is nothing more than working. Put them together and you will find something extraordinary.

The first two weeks were cake, but the last three were very trying not because I was tempted to watch TV. I could have cared less. Instead it was a temptation to fill my life with other means of entertainment and addiction I think we all share. Sure it may not be tv, but movies, music, video games, the gossip column, the Internet, or even your friends can all fall into this category. It becomes our methods of escape from reality.

This revelation made me question a lot about myself. Am I needing to escape? Am I running from something? The answer was a clear yes, but the “why” is left to more study. I don’t view my life as bad. As a matter of fact it is quite good. My family is awesome. I enjoy my job. I have financial stability, which is saying a lot in the world today. I think the “why” didn’t come to me until I sat down to write this blog today. One word came to mind, helplessness.

Entertainment happens in a controlled environment, even when we think it is out of control. If we don’t like something we turn it off or we simply restart the level for another chance. Couple this with the fact that humanity has a God-given nature compelling us to subdue the world around us. Genesis 1:28 be fruitful, multiply, and and subdue the earth. It was God’s first commandment to man.
It’s not my nature needing to change as much as my application of that nature. And truthfully I may not be able to change everything as easily in the real world (subduing the world seems to be the impossible task)…but I certainly can change more of it if I am spending less time escaping it.

There is hope though and here is a discovery that will hopefully help you as much as it did me. Just stop looking for answers altogether. But, start looking for questions. Make your journey about understanding something besides yourself. Live life like it had nothing to do with you. Carry on conversations with a stranger. Stop dominating your mind with questions about yourself. Be in search of the misunderstood things in life. One thing I’ve learned about God in the past few weeks is a lack of an answer doesn’t have to prevent us from understanding. Most of time the question is being answered before we ever ask it. The real freedom is not in the answer, but in knowing the right questions to ask…like Jeopardy.